To mato or not to mato

Bad impression

2007-03-29T06:07:00.000+10:00

Don't think that what you did nor said didn't hurt at all.

Enough said. Well done.

2007

2007-01-24T22:05:00.000+11:00

Tahun baru, cuma ga ada resolusi neh.. Belom sempet mikirin itu..

Aneh ga sih? Gw selalu punya resolusi, yang banyakan sih ga tercapai.

Review 2006 aja
2006 has been sweet, sad, happy, expensive, and fun for me. Tiring but I got so much more, so overall it's been good..

Sweet and sad, because of you. Thank you!! You know who you are (I hope). :)
I'm always happy and have fun with my life, thank God for that.
Expensive is because of my ambition with new activities such as SCUBA Diving. Credits to Jesus and my parents :D

Love you all

The old timesss

2006-11-01T22:16:00.000+11:00

It's been quite a while....

I miss the old times...

It's been too long for this thing to happen, don't you reckon?

Coba

2006-05-08T19:48:00.000+10:00

Coba cek ini: mamadh.multiply.com

Gloomy but still gonna have fun

2006-04-10T07:30:00.000+10:00

JAMIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

woohoooooooo!!!

duh gw udah mulai terharu neh.. nyah nyah nyahhhh...

Ntar gw mo nonton jamie... Jamie Cullum..... jamieeee jamieee jamieee... (hahaha kya orang gila).

Waktu pas tiketnya dijual, gw sama T-Dubbers udah kya orang gila beneran. Stresss banget, soalnya website ticketmasternya down.. Dodol banget deh. Dia udah nelponin ticketmaster juga, sibuk.. click refresh mulu.. sampe akhirnya berhasil masuk. Fiuhh.. mayan sih, dapet di mezzanine, row F.
Selama si tizzle mencoba, gw juga ikut nyoba. dan memaki-maki ticketmaster bersama. "What the hell, man.." Huehehe si amrik itu.. klo kata gw: t**!! sompret!! kampret!! monyet!! bodad!! ANJING!!! (huehehehe makin parah ya?)

duh semalem baru tidur setengah 1 lagi, kebangun sm truk sampah jam setengah 7....... ngantuk! moga2 tahan sampe malem nih.. Alasannya adalah karena tiba-tiba ada photo session, duduk jongkok di depan kamar Nadia. Itu tuh macem koridor cuma bedanya pendek banget aja. Jadi cuma muat 2 orang. Ntar gw upload deh, klo sempet dan inget.

Lebih gila lagi, tugas gw masih ga jelas ujungnya gini.. Padahal dikumpul besok, jam 1 siang. Jadi masih keburu sih, nyalin di lecture. Bukan nyalin deh, tapi nanya sama temen :)

Happy Monday everyone!

aku cina loh..

2006-04-08T15:16:00.000+10:00

Selama beberapa saat yang singkat saya habiskan sebagai murid SMU Sanur, dibudakkin tugas, ulangan, pe-er (yg jadi korban tuh waktu break di sekolah.. hahaha) dan segala macem hal-hal kecil lainnya yang udah gw cuekin (yang kalo ga dicuekin, bakal bikin gw kurus), gw sadar banget kalo anak-anak sanur itu rasis!

contoh:

"Selamat tahun baru, CINA!!" diucapkan oleh 1 oknum MC, pas imlek pas kls 3.
"ih CINA banget sih dia..." terlalu sering didengar dan terucap oleh diri sendiri.
"CINA lo!!" dibalas dengan "BATAK lo!!" atau bisa juga "PADANG lo!!"
"Kok lo lebih CINA sih daripada gw?",kata gw. Lalu dijawab "lo kan bukan CINA, madh! Ga ada tampang gitu loh.."
"CINAku bukan CINA biasa...", dendang salah satu oknum, PJW.

Kalo sekarang:

"Pinjem dvd vina bilang CINA dong dit"
"ih dia CINA banget...", temen gw diem aja.
"emang lo CINA?", yak dipertanyakan!!
"mau nonton video klipnya Joy, karena CINA", kata oknum EM.

Ya, ga beda jauh sih ya..
oia, gw disangka setengah cina. Hebat amat ya emak bapak gw... huehehehehe..

Ah yasudlah, cuma buat intermezzo di tengah-tengah kesibukan gw melarikan diri dari tugas.

Hari senen kemaren itu...

2006-04-05T08:02:00.000+10:00

gw keguyur teh earl grey panas ngepul yg blm gw minum dan gw beli seharga $2.10 di coffee cart depan library.. karena keisengan gw maenin cup nya.. huehehehe..

kacamata ketinggalan di rumah.

hampir telat ngumpulin assignment.

ga ada kejadian naas lagi sih. segitu aja.

Mengejar deadline

2006-04-03T09:59:00.000+10:00

Huah.. gila neh gw.. Barusan, 1 jam yang lalu, ada 1 tugas yang musti kumpul. Namun................. tak dinyana, tak disangka, gw ketiduran sampe pk 8:52 waktu bagian setempat. Padahal udah bangun jam 6:44 (gw inget tuh, gw bangun buat pipis) dan karena mata masih sepet bgt dan otak masih hibernasi, maka secara natural gw tidur lagi. Biasanya bangun sendiri jam stg 8 atau 8 gitu.

Huehehehehe seru banget tadi, lari-lari, kejar2an sama waktu. Untungnya keburu. Assignmentnya udah diambil dari kotak tempat ngumpulnya sama petugas TU-nya sih (tata usaha) tapi msh bisa lgsg kasih ke dia..

Entah kenapa, gw yakin banget tadi gw masih keburu, tapi kalo gw lari dan buru2. Naek tangga pula dari lantai G ke lantai 3. Duh ntar jem 11 musti ke uni lg.. belum mandi neh, belum gosgig juga. Tadi lgsg jln, namanya juga telat.. Ya maklum deh..

Ntar isi-isi lagi deh..

Gone... gone and GONE!

2006-02-23T16:32:00.000+11:00

ARGGHHH SOLD OUT??!!?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCCKKKKKKKK???!!! I really should've bought it from the fan presale... how annoying..

well not really that upset when I tried to figure out what that really means this morning at Coogee moshtix.. oh so sad that I couldn't go to see Jason.. uh.. Jasonnnnnnnnnnnn Mraaaazzzzzzzzzzzzz why do you come all the way down here just to play in a small cafe??? Unlucky... Guess our line haven't crossed each other's line..

Oh well I bought me a new speaker with subwoofer (WOOF!), so that I can listen to good music now, and feel the bass... It feels so good...

Yay! We're still waiting for Jamie Cullum's concert (there're like maybe 8 of us! woohoo!!). Some are from the Mraz concert team, with an additional of 2 people plus 1 substitution.
Haha.. sounds like a volleyball team!

Hmm talking about volleyball, yesterday I played again, for the first time since I left Jakarta for Sydney. Man... it was a nice game, eh? Yummm, feel so good to be back on the court! hahahaha..
Well, eventhough my hands and thumbs are all swollen and red, with some red freckles, it's still good.. hehehe
We have to pay for the club membership, $10/semester.. well that's a bit expensive, but that's alright. Then, we have to pay for social competition, $40 for individual. So that's $50 altogether. Hmmm I dunno, I might just try for 1 semester.. well.. yeah.. that's too expensive.
I'm gonna try sailing this semester, and hopefully I get to try scuba-diving next semester! Yippee!!

Semua itu butuh duit

2006-02-22T10:49:00.000+11:00

Jason Mraz mo manggung di Sydney! Ah gila seneng bgt!!!!!!Meh.. meh.. meh....................... kemaren ketinggalan fan presale nya Jason Mraz..... buhuhuhu..
besok neh.. besok... jam 9 pagi....

Trussssssssssssssss ada JAMIE CULLUM!!!!! hohoho dia jg mo konser di sini..............

muahahahhahahaha gila gw seneng bgt!!!!!

hihihi bakal kluar duit byk neh thn ini.

Rencananya gw mau:
scuba diving, pas semester 2, bareng Tiff Tan
sailing
nonton mas2ku yang ganteng bernyanyi
balik pas juni dan/atau dec
ikut kegiatan aneh, seperti ballroom dancing.
ikut Engineers Without Borders (volunteering dan semacamnya)
lulus semester dengan selamat.

Insyaallah!!!

Direlakan dan tetap istimewa di hati

2006-02-04T10:31:00.000+11:00

Muehehehehehe.. gw abis terpingkal-pingkal bacain testi2 yg kaya message di FS. Duh kangen bgt sm org2 nan dudul itu..

Kayanya udah lama banget sejak terakhir kali kita bertemu ya. Apa kabar ya orang2 itu semua? Udah pada mencar-mencar ke bagian bumi lain. Kita udah punya temen-temen baru lagi, beda-beda semua. Semua juga udah pada berubah, mulai dari kedewasaannya, cara ngomongnya dan mgkn yang paling keliatan, cara mereka berdandan dan berfesyon! Ya kuakui, saya juga berubah sih, sedikit banyak. Tapi masih anak kecil di dalam hati. Itu sih tetep..

Udah hampir 2 tahun ya kita semua misah dan memetik hasil siksaan batin dan fisik di Sanur Indah. Misah, mencari sendiri jalan kita di dunia. Dan emang ga ada yang perlu disesali dari itu. Kita tumbuh (ke kanan dan ke kiri) dan berkembang (melebar) dari jiwa-jiwa yang lugu, yang 1.5 tahun yang lalu baru lulus SMU. Makin tua, makin berisi. (sialan, gw menggendut!)

Kalo jalan kita berpapasan lagi, kita bakal ketemu lagi. Dan semoga, pas kita ketemu lagi, masih bisa konyol-konyolan dan bersenang-senang bersama.

I can only hope that you enjoy the ride, and me too.

Friends not-really-Forever

2006-02-03T19:18:00.000+11:00

Hmm I always feel happy, and a bit sad, when my close friends get into a new relationship.
I am happy for them, a bit sad for myself I guess.
It's just so clear that we won't hang out like we used to (spontaneous, anytime, anywhere) or we won't talk the same things (too many concern about this new lover, everything about this new one). Or practically, I wouldn't see him/her in some times, until they realize they've missed out some events.

We're friends till we fall in love..
I dunno what I'm complaining about.

Ini hasil ikut lecture kimia..

2006-02-03T13:48:00.000+11:00

Di bawah langit
Kita berlari dan menari
bercumbu dan menyanyi
bernyanyi lagu-lagu musim semi

Dendangmu dan langkahku
Kita bersatu dalam riang
dan kerinduan

Hatimu dan hatiku
Jiwa kita satu
dan kita kan terus
berlari dan menari
bercumbu dan menyanyi
berdansa dengan lagu-lagu musim cinta

Whining

2006-02-03T13:37:00.000+11:00

Hola.. hola..!! Potonya bagus ya.. buehehehehhe memuji diri sendiri gini. Motonya pake hp trus retouch berkali2 dengan PS. huehehehehe aslinya sih ga sebagus itu..
Jadi waktu itu, gw ngintilin 2 mas fotografer pas pagi2 buta (05:00 am) ke Coogee Beach, pantai deket rumah, 1 jam jalan kaki. Yang 1 berdomosili di Syd, Mas MP, dan yg 1 lg berdomisili di Jkt, Mas LD. Si Ceris pasti knal deh, soalnya si Eldi jg knal sm Ceris. Karena gw ga bawa kamera, jadi pake hp doang deh..

Ehmmmm kabar terbaru, gw lg kebakaran jenggot neh.. minggu depan ujian lab kimia.. Huuhuhuhu parah abis gitu... disuru nentuin unknown solution dari sekian 20 jenis beda2. Aduh aduhhhh musti bertanya pd Brian neh.

Masa perut gw ga kuat dikasi nasi lemak.... Gara2 ada sayurnya yg pedes gitu.. Payah deh, lemah bgt!! Perutnya jadi ga jelas gini, rasanya panas dan pikiran melayang ke WC selalu..

Final exam gw, dua2nya di hari yang sama. Yang 1 pagi, yang 1 lagi siangnya.. Mimpi apa sih semalem?

Trus masi kerja juga.. ermm.. kangen orang2 neh..

Internet yang menakjubkan

2006-01-24T07:28:00.000+11:00

Huah.. ternyata mozilla firefox menakjubkan!!!!

Kenapa sih masih pada pake IE? IE gw udah rusak dari jaman kapan kli.. (tiap masuk ke webpage yg membutuhkan password, e.g. hotmail n yahoo, pasti ntar balik lagi ke hlm yg sama, cuma kya refresh gitu doang. Kan ngeselin..)

Si rubah api itu bisa pake theme lucu-lucu.... trus pake aneh2 lainnya, kya online weather forecast, ditaro di bawah.. lucu deh pokoknya... hyahahaha seneng nih gw.

Anyhow, ane punya alamat e-mail baru. Keisengan selanjutnya dengan internet, pake gmail. Huhuhu asik bo...

Silahkan bersilahturahmi, kirim2 apa kek gitu.. tapi tanya secara private aja ya. Kalo ditulis disini, ntar gw dikirimin sampah lg..

Polaroid Camera

2006-01-23T07:56:00.000+11:00

Anyone know anything about polaroid camera 600 CL?

Kabar-kabari lagi

2006-01-23T07:46:00.000+11:00

Halo.. Halo..

Apa kbr smua? I'm dead with maths and chem.. duh susah... huhuhu jd nyesel ikut summer course. 2nd year bakal lebih parah dari ini nih, dengan kemungkinan 9 subjects (27 UOC >> units of credit) atau lebih, kalau mau overload. Wah bisa gila gw.. survive ga ya? Belom ada sih anak Chem Eng nya UNSW bunuh diri pas 2nd year. Well, belum denger aja gw...

Hmm ga jadi pajang foto flatku ah.. Ntar aja pas balik Indo, di burn di cd gt.. klo yg mo liat, ya liat aja.. Gw blm begitu berani untuk publikasi lebih jauh.. Maklum, ga ada jiwa celeb.

Kerja di Es Teler 77 seru juga. Kerjaannya ga susah, trus anak2nya baik2. Bos ane juga baek. Udah gitu, kalo kerja, dapet makan+minum gratis gitu.. Trus temen2 gw yg di sini lgsg bilang, "I know you so well, you aim for the food ar..." Huakakakakakak ga salah juga sih..
Ya begitulah.. Lumayan buat pengalaman pertama.

Oia, gw lg diet loh. Tapi males bgt, on/off mulu gitu. Kya suka2 mood ane bgt. Abis susah sih.....
Kalo ga susah, bukan diet ya? Kayanya ga bakal berhasil gini..

Currently..

2006-01-14T00:25:00.000+11:00

Current state of mind: a bit worried about the coming weekssssss
Currently: pengen mandi tapi males
Current state of heart: worried about the next 2 tests, but don't think that I'll do anything about it.
Current status of flatmateship: solitude one-selfish being with too much freedom
Current status of love and relationship: still a happy and content single
Current job: a bit of everything in Es Teler 77 Sydney branch
Current likes: good food, less portion, jumping rope, TV table (bisa buat back-up >>tmnnya sit-up n push-up), mangga manis barusan, Jason Mraz's Mr. A-Z, Bossa Nova CD 1, Buble nan ganteng, Sigur Ros' Takk dll.
Current dislikes: hectic days and days ahead......................................

Hola! Udah lama banget neh ga update.. malesnya ga ketulungan. Hehe tiba2 pengen aja menyapa dunia maya... huhuhu!!
Ehmmmm apa ya? Kayanya smua udah dilaporin di atas.
Pengen ikut International Exchange nya UNSW neh. trus pengen ke USA atau ke China. Hehehe kan bs sekalian bljr bhs, memperkuat jati diri. Tapi... kyanya cuma iseng doang deh, tau deh. Belum diajukan ke meja tetua2.

ke-ru-su-han

2005-12-12T19:25:00.000+11:00

Man.. gila.. beneran gila banget. Di Sydney, tepatnya di Cronulla Beach (Selatannya Sydney), ada kerusuhan rasialis gitu kemaren. Tentunya ga bakal jadi segede yang di Jakarta dulu sih, tapi gila... mengejutkan aja!!

Sasarannya adalah orang-orang keturunan Timur Tengah. Di sini kan banyak tuh ya Lebanese gitu.. Arabesque (bener ga ya?) sih ga gitu banyak, banyaknya Leb yang cantik-cantik dan ganteng-ganteng gitu (ga semua sih). Bule-bule Oz sinting itu kayanya mau memurnikan dari ras middle-eastern. Gila, gw ga ngerti kenapa cuma middle-eastern aja yang jadi sasarannya. Kesian banget... Ada sih gangster Leb gitu, suka bikin masalah. Macemnya preman Tanah Abang gituh lah, tapi gw rasa sih mereka bakalan kalah sama preman Tanah Abang kalo diadu.

Rasanya pengen marah, tapi ga tau sama sapa. Pengen nangis buat mereka yang terluka.. tapi lebih sedih lagi rasanya buat orang-orang yang ikut-ikutan aja. Orang yang mulai ini lebih menyedihkan lagi.

Huee mereka bego banget sih!!!

Talkers talkers

2005-12-07T09:16:00.000+11:00

The other day, Tiff and I talked about Indonesian culture, in a way of how people/your big family showing that they really care. (Tiff is an American-born Indo so she has as big as an Indo big family we generally have.)

Well, we both complained that they (our big fam) really care about how others going. I mean care as in too much. For example, if I have something bad's going on between my mom and me, like big fight, they'll bloody know it. Okay, we all know that we like to talk to people when we have problem, yeah sure, it's alright with me. But then, yeah, they'll start bugging on me. And it's not only the adults, but also their kids, my cousins and they're all much younger than me Buggers!! It's really none of your piece of shyte, so leave my shyte behind.

They really like you, they really do. They talk about you, your style, your love life, your study, the way you talk, the way you move, just everything about you. Oh, so much about what others think. What they think are too important and too damn right, and your parents are so gonna threaten your life with any kind of actions that need to be taken to get you back to reality, the way how you supposed to be.

I can't say that it's all bad. Critics are welcomed any time with me. But it's just plain annoying when people you hardly close with talk so much about yourself, as if they know. As if they know..

People can always talk but it's always up to you whether you want to listen to it or not.

Si Ryana

2005-12-03T13:30:00.000+11:00

ada filmku.

lalalala

2005-12-01T21:43:00.000+11:00

lagi libur neh, bosen.

Makan gratis

2005-11-26T23:13:00.000+11:00

Gw sama si jvn suka banget sama yang namanya makan gratis. Trus di uni ini nih, banyak banget tuh yang namanya bagi2 makanan, atau ngadain acara penyambutan gitu. Acara biasanya diisi dengan barbie (barbecue) gratis, ngobrol2, basa basi, haha hihi. Jangan salah sangka ya, barbienya tuh jauh dari kemewahan barbecue yang akan terbayang di pikiran kalian (daging sapi pilihan dan lainnya). Ini nih palingan cuma grilled sausages, grilled onions, dimakan pake roti tangkep (yang agak bonafide dikit, pake roti hot dog), dipakein saos tomat, mustard atau ga bbq sauce.
Payah ya kedengerannya? Tapi kita suka banget berburu makanan gratis yang ada di sekitar uni. Ga harus bbq, yg penting gratis. Gw ga gitu suka juga sm yg bbq itu, berminyak banget... hiiiyy!!

Lalu, waktu itu anak2 environmental engineering ada exhibition kecil2an gitu. Kebetulan gw lagi lewat depan gedungnya yang kaya aquarium itu. Itu tuh udah jem 6 sore, hari Jumat pula. Jadinya kampus sepi melompong, ga banyak orang. Tidak dapat melewatkan kesempatan manis ini begitu saja, masuklah kami (gw, jvn dan lita). Ternyata isinya ada snack2 yang berkelas gitu sama wine, beers, trus ada juice juga. Hihihihi.. setelah puas mengganjal perut (soalnya mau makan malam lagi), keluar deh kami. Tadinya mau nambah wine, tapi rasanya musti tau diri juga.

Trus kemaren, pas abis dari Coles (supermarket), stlh nonton Brother Grimms, di salah satu function buildingnya, ada acara natalan gitu. Trus ada bagi2 kotak makanan dan minuman kaleng. Trus si jvn lgsg ngmg2 gitu sm Lita, gw lgsg nyadar dan menggagaskan: eh kita ambil makanan yuk! Si jvn lgsg ngomong: kok pikiran lo sama sih sama gw??!! Ya iyalah ya, wong partner in crime gini.. hahahaha. Jadilah kami masuk ke dalam gedungnya dan membaur bersama umat2 Tuhan yang baru keluar. Pertama dikirim si jvn sebagai percobaan. Ia berhasil, masuklah gw, bobi dan si om untuk mengambil kotak makanan juga. Setelah kita semua berhasil, pulanglah kami dengan hati riang karena dapet makanan gratis.

Enak ya yang gratisan..

Sendiri lagi

2005-11-25T11:26:00.000+11:00

Hey hey! Udah kelar nih examnya! Sekarang lagi libur aja.. Mau cari kerja trus ada summer course juga. Jadi ga balik Indo.

Hmm.. Nadia balik neh hari ini.. Sepi deh di rumah, cuma sendirian.

Males masak kalo sendirian. Ntar makan apa ya? Moga2 ga sepi2 amat..

Mungkin..

2005-11-19T09:45:00.000+11:00

Mungkin kalau bisa, aku ingin hentikan waktu dan ulangi saat itu.
Mungkin, aku tidak akan sebodoh itu.
Tidak akan lakukan hal yang sama lagi.

Andai.. andai...

Me and my stupid mouth.

(masih) ngelantur

2005-11-16T08:51:00.000+11:00

Hmm.. 2 ujian telah kulalui, masih ada 3 lagi minggu depan. Sekarang mustinya lagi belajar, tapi malah update blog. Maths sih.... ya begitulah. Dari 6 papers, gw setidaknya ga bisa ngerjain 2 pertanyaan tiap paper. Totalnya kira2 ada 48-50 soal. Yah.. let's hope for the best.

Chemistry... bisa sih! Selesai juga, ada sisa waktu juga. Lumayan tenanglah kalo buat kimia.

Trus kemarin, hari Selasa, I had a total break. Padahal... padahal... rencananya mau belajar, mengingat hari Senin sehabis chem itu juga udah break. Bobo siang, ngobrol2 sama temen.. trus chatting, maen komputer, cek e-mail.. ya gitu2 deh, kebiasaan gw. Jadi rencananya hari Selasa udah mau mulai belajar. Tapi.. niat tinggal niat. Hari Selasa gw beresin kamar, sekalian tempel-tempelin postcards and photos ke dinding kamar. Sekarang jadi ramai nih!

Tuh potonya di atas, ga bisa gw pindahin dan lagi males berusaha.

Dengan kamar masih kaya tempat sampah, gw pergi nomat sama temen2. Nonton Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Huekkekekekek seru juga. Lucu bego gitu Robert Downey Jr. nya. Duh gantengnya dia... Trus abis itu ke rumahnya si Florian Chris, nonton cowo2 maen Winning Eleven. Abis itu, setengah 5 balik ke rumah, ganti baju trus pergi ke gym, yoga. Begonya tuh, gw udah PD Jaya kalo fitness class yang jem 5 itu tuh pilates. Hahaha bego banget.. tapi gpp sih, emang rencananya mau yoga, tapi kirain yoga tuh hari Jumat. Taunya kebalik!

Abis yoga, pulang, lgsg dinner (percuma bgt exercise). Trus maen komputer sampe jem 9, trus tidur. Baru bangun jem stg 8. Huakakakaka puas banget.. 10.5 jam!!! Sampe badan pegel rasanya.. Hehehe hari ini harus belajar yang bener nih!

Mari!

Daddy's little girl

2005-11-13T10:26:00.000+11:00

My parents are bloody worried and scared and furious and anxious about me living alone, without any adults supervisor. I am 19, and I am regarded as an adult here, but not by them.. I'm still their little girl.

He called me 3 times yesterday, from the frikin far Jakarta, to talk about the things I should not and can not and you-better-not do. Things like going study group in a guy's place, or like people who can not go into my room and stuff. Bloody hell.. He keeps repeating all the same stuffs he talked about since 3 days ago. He even wrote 2 letters for me, saying all these things (and I don't think I will read it in the mean time, or in a month).

Ah I forgot to write about my family coming down here, to Sydney, to my flat, just before the fkin final exams. They already went back yesterday, after my maths exam.

It's just so damn tiring and boring, to hear it again and again and againnnnnn!!!
One thing that makes me feel bad is that he even couldn't get it out of his mind. He keeps thinking about me and all these stupid stuff I might be doing right now but he doesn't even know and he feel left guard and he's afraid that I might spoil it, fuckin spoil my study and when I'm spoiled my study, he doesn't know where to put his face.

Jadi artinya: JANGAN HAMIL DAN MALU-MALUIN KELUARGA.
atau: JANGAN KENA BUJUKAN MAUT LAKI-LAKI BRENGSEK, YANG ADA DI LUAR SANA DAN BANYAK SEKALI JUMLAHNYA, SAMPAI-SAMPAI GW KIRA SEMUA LELAKI ADA MAKSUD TERSEMBUNYINYA (begitulah yg doi bilang), SEHINGGA GW TERJERUMUS DALAM LEMBAH KENISTAAN.

Ntar bokap nelpon lagi ga ya?

Final Examination

2005-11-09T17:11:00.000+11:00

Bah.. final menjelang nih..
Jumat besok, 11/11/2005: MATH1131 Mathematics 1A
Senennya, 14/11/2005: CHEM1011 Chemistry 1A
Senen depannya, 21/11/2005: PHYS1211 Environmental Physics
Besokkannya, 22/11/2005: CEIC1020 Paper 1 (Material Balance)
Besokkannya lagi, 23/11/2005: CEIC1020 Paper 2 (Engineering Mechanics)

Duh sekarang rasanya lagi ga enak, kayanya masuk angin deh.. Kembung, eneg, mencret2 ga jelas gini. Cuacanya sompret abis.. Kadang panas banget, kadang adem banget. Anginnya apa lagi.. Sigh.. I have to be healthy!!

Gw kyanya bakal mati deh, pas nyampe ke physics..

Photo

2005-11-09T17:04:00.000+11:00

Huhuhuh imagecave jancuk neh!! Sial bener.. Gara2 lupa log-in dalam 1 bulan, account gw di non-aktifkan! Ga punya display image deh skrg.. Lagian gw juga males sih.. Hahaha jadi salah sendiri..

Memory card di kamera gw error gitu.. Padahal pas lagi pergi ke Canberra tuh, abis moto2 bunga di Floriade (festival bunga tulip yang aslinya dari negara penjajah). Huaa sedihnya.. trus pas dicek kemaren (iya, baru cek kemaren, padahal perginya udah dari 1 bulan yang lalu), poto2nya lenyap.. Kata temen gw, ada kemungkinan poto2nya selamat. I should get a new memory card ya..

Tentang foto2 lagi, ntar mo upload foto2 flat baru dan lainnya. Tapi ntar, setelah final exam.

Untuknya

2005-10-22T23:17:00.000+10:00

Pas aku lagi kangen kalian, teman-temanku anak-anak gaul nan funky, aku mendapat kabar buruk nan mengejutkan. Papihnya Debryn meninggal ya? hiks.. aku turut sedih!!! Tabah ya De!!

cuti

2005-10-18T13:45:00.000+10:00

session tinggal 2 minggu lagi dan tugas-tugas dengan tidak sopannya bermunculan, dan tentunya tidak lupa kuis-kuis dan tes-tes.

gw pusing, gara-gara males banget pas pertengahan session, sekarang jd numpuk bahan yang musti dipelajarin.

gw bakal cuti dulu sm si blog ini. banyak cerita sih.. asal ntar kalo udah sempet, ga lupa aja.

Sedih

2005-10-02T20:21:00.000+10:00

Bom lagi... bom lagi...

Ampun mas teroris!!!

Kemana kalian?

2005-09-29T16:58:00.000+10:00

Pada kemana sih orang-orang???!!!!!

Untuk lebih spesifiknya, Andam dan Swasti.

Pindahan

2005-09-28T17:23:00.000+10:00

Aku mau pindah loh!!!! Pindah ke deket uni, biar deket, ga ngabisin waktu di jalan!

Senang.. senang.. menuju pintu gerbang kemandirian (kesendirian sih sebenernya...)

Bakal banyak keluar duit neh.. karena flatnya unfurnished, jadinya musti ke IKEA deh. Tapi mau cari barang-barang bekas yang masih bagus gitu sih, cari moving sale atau garage sale. Biasanya barangnya masih mayan bagus trus ga semahal di toko.. yah.. cumanya bekas!!

Sebenernya ga sendiri juga, share sama si Nadia, anak TarQ Pulor. Cuma kalo Nadia balik ke Jakarta, ya saya sendirian di rumah.. huhuhuhuhu aku takut!!!! Duh udah gede gini... ckckck..

Doakan akuh yah kawan-kawan!!!

What's with all that fuss..

2005-09-25T15:28:00.000+10:00

Liburan dimulai dengan:
meng-update blog
lalu, menyetrika baju.
dan mungkin akan diikuti dengan membereskan kamar
dan menyingkirkan debu-debu yang sudah tebal

Harus belajar,
bikin pr dan semua latihan soal yang seharusnya kubikin dari dulu-dulu.

Jangan lupa: bersenang-senang.

Looking forward to Friday!!! What about Friday? We're going to Canberra, and with we, I mean are Nadia, Nathan, Didu and me!! Andry pergi ga ya?

Nyetrika lagi ya.. duh, tanganku udah pegel...

Kabarku

2005-09-25T14:08:00.000+10:00

Hmm kabar saya yang terbaru, lagi libur buat seminggu senengnyaaaaaa!!!! Libur mid-session gitu deh.. masuk masih ada tes dan tugas yang menunggu.

Selain itu, lagi nyari-nyari flat kosong nih! 2 kamar dengan harga yang masuk akal dan dekat ke UNSW. Udah ada sih inceran, trus ntar mau kita sewain aja garasinya, soalnya neither me nor nadia have car. Hehehehe jelas banget ga sih alasannya?

Tadi pagi, ngobrol tentang ini sama si mamih via msn. Trus beliau nanya, musti beli apa lagi? (soalnya ini flat bnr2 kosong, unfurnished) Trus gw bilang, semuanya, kecuali kompor (dapurnya sih udah mayan, ada lemarinya). Jadi ntar bakal banyak banget neh, pengeluaran 2 bulan ke depan. Trus gw ditanya biaya hidup 1 bulan berapa? 1 tahun berapa? 3 tahun berapa? Setelah gw renungkan dalam sekian berapa detik, gila man, banyak abis!!!! Duh pusing... musti hemat buat 3 tahun ke depan sampe kelar....

Hemat itu berarti mengurangi pengeluaran lain-lain. Berarti ga bisa makan enak lagi. Atau ga bisa belanja lagi (yang mana sekarang cuma sekali2 doang). Gw pilih mana ya? Ga bisa makan bergizi dan lezat atau ga bisa pake baju bagus? Gw pilih ga bisa belanja aja!!!! Gw ga bisa hidup tanpa makanan enak.. Udah jadi manja banget ya lidahnya?

Kalian pilih yang mana?

Ping pong

2005-09-25T12:30:00.000+10:00

Bermain ping-pong, membuat saya sadar kalau voli itu menyenangkan sekali..

Kemarin main ping-pong sama temen-temen, agak kurang bisa berkutik di hadapan laki-laki semua. Mereka jago sih.. yah, at least lebih jago daripada daku.. Voli lebih menyenangkan karena bolanya besar, jadi lebih keliatan. Hehehe kemaren beberapa kali meleset karena ga keliatan.. kan malu bo.......

Trussss lapangannya gede. Ping-pong cuma semeja gitu.. Rasanya kaya maen tenis boongan.

Udah gitu, karena saya belum gitu bisa, jadinya kalo nyemes, bolanya kluar mulu!!! 1 point lagi deh buat lawan.. Intinya, maen ping-pong ga puas lah!! Cuma bikin stres soalnya ga bisa apa-apa..

Hahahaha.. no offense buat penggemar dan pecinta ping-pong. Gw cuma kangen banget aja sama voli...

useless

2005-09-18T09:48:00.000+10:00

I hate the person who makes my mom cries. That person is often me.
I hate the person who makes me cry. That person is often my mom.

It's hard to forgive,
it's even harder to forget.

Please don't cry, mom..

Marah pokoknya! Ga mau tau!!

2005-09-18T08:49:00.000+10:00

Dear oh, dear..
Capek tau ga, gini terus?!
Dasar eek, nyebelin!!!
Bikin orang khawatir!

Phone

2005-09-17T08:10:00.000+10:00

I realized that my mobile phone is not too useful, in a sense of people looking for me. I rarely answer my phone. I just realized that it is bad. It's not that I don't want to but sometimes the situation is a bit not right. Most of the time, I don't hear it or I don't know it's ringing. I put it on silent, during the lectures and classes, in where I won't take those calls eventhough I know. Surely, I will call back later on or text them, if I have charge. I forget to put it back on normal during the break and sometimes after I've finished. Eventhough I've put it back on ringing mode, still I don't know it's ringing because I put it inside my backpack and I listen to music during the walk. If I put it in my pocket, maybe I'll take it after 1 missed call. Sometimes, I don't feel the vibration and when song's playing, it's already too late and they hang up. I always leave my phone in my room, and I go downstairs to play computer or study. Sometimes, the people who call me don't want their number to be shown on the screen. I always think that they call from Indo, probably they just want to miss call or something. So I didn't pick it up. It turned out to be from the yellowshirt. I thought, I didn't get accepted because I didn't get any call, because I thought that it was just my friend at Indo, playing with me. Finally, I got the call, and I will come to the interview tomorrow.

Most of my friends are complaining about this. I'm sorry. I will try to care more about my phone..

Week 8

2005-09-17T07:59:00.000+10:00

Halowwwwww.. It's been quite a while, since I last wrote.
Ok.. ok.. week 8.. These are what I have:

Physics Mid-session test at 12.00 today (now is 8:01 am, Saturday, 17th Sept'05)
My Yellowshirt application got accepted, and the interview is on tomorrow afternoon. Wish me luck!!!!
Got some of the tests back. Well, quite good..
Planning to do some research in co-op scholarship and careers.. Just hope I don't forget to do it.
Planning to apply for a job. Ditto hope.
Planning to do the laudry, and the bed sheets too. Hope the sun is out tomorrow.

Have a nice weekend!

Sydney Running Festival

2005-09-11T16:25:00.000+10:00

I was volunteering for this annually event this morning. It was alright, with the rain and the wind, not much fun watching all these fit runners.. shyt, make me realize that I have to put on some effort for exercising, or else.....

It starts at 6:30, I think.. I'm not sure. I was the court marshall. My job was to tell the runners the right way to go and to give directions. We make sure that no one is crossing the fence (the non-athletes), and that the runners are running on the right path. My area was right in the middle of the famous Harbour Bridge. The authorities have closed the highway from 4:30 am and there's no single car. It feels very good, like having it all for yourself. I didn't get to make any silly encounters, with all these strangers. If only I had couple of friends, I would be running all over the place and screaming and shouting and singing Indonesian national theme song, just for the fun of it. You'd never get to feel it on a freeway!! on the famous harbour bridge!!!, you know, if events like this were not on.

Although it started at 6:30, I was to be checked in by 5:25 and settled in along the bridge before the first runners start. We've got 8 different starts, 2 for marathon, 2 for half-marathon, 1 for bridge run, 1 for fun run, 1 for the wheelchairs marathon, 1 for the wheelchairs half-marathon. I didn't see a lot of wheelchairs, just one or two.

I was stationed with an Australian girl doing her masters in finance at Macquarie Uni. We have to guarded the LHS (left-hand side) of the HB, if you're coming from the same way as the runners. They are heading towards the city. A lot of them were trying to get over the slower ones in front of them, so they took the empty side of the road, which was the LHS one. So we're trying to move people away from it, since it's not the official way. Nevertheless, they came back after they passed us. Some of them were quite nice, saying thanks for volunteering, good morning and all. This oz girl, she got some change, and a hat from 2 different runners. I didn't get anything eventhough I stood beside her.

Anyway, there were some trespassers. They were not allowed to be in the road. These two particularly amused us. So this guy came up to us, after jumping the fence, said that he needed to take some photographs and that he would be very quick. We told him that he can't do that. He insisted and said that it wouldn't take long. So we agreed, because there were no runners and the next start was not gonna be in any short time. He called up this girl, dressed up, all with the boots and make-ups. They took pictures 3 times in the middle of the road. After they left, our supervisor came and said that he (the photographer) already got caught couples of times. It left us wondering, if they were just up for their own ego or what.

It's raining soon and it was freezing.. It's quite fun.

Check the website here.

A Walk To Remember

2005-09-11T15:53:00.000+10:00

I had one, last monday night. I was intended to go to one of two of the briefing sessions for general volunteers. One was on Monday, 5 Sept, and the other was on Tuesday, 6 Sept. It was on from 6:30 pm till 7:00 pm, in one of the meeting rooms of Four Points Sheraton in Darling Harbour.

Being a careless reader, I came to understand that the place was Sheraton On The Park, in Elizabeth St. I know that street quite well, and I can get to that place easily. So I went there after 5:30 pm, skipped my last lecture. You just have to hop on the 391-399 buses or L94 and get off in Elizabeth St., just in front of David Jones store (but not the 393 or 395). They are my regular buses going to or back from uni. I got there around 6:10, which was early. Then I walked around, looking for sign of the meeting, e.g. on the hotel notice board. I became suspicious, couldn't find anything. Then I took the paper out and read it consciously, Four Points Sheraton, at Darling Harbour. So I asked this lady, she's working there, where the 4Points is. She gave instruction quite clearly. "It's a 15 mins walk from here (I looked at the watch, and I knew I couldn't make it), and just walk along the Market St.(which one is that?), just outside the hotel. Then turn right at the traffic lights, just before the bridge to Star City (shit!! shit!! shit!!! It's far!!!)".

I left and started walking Market St. then turn left on George St. I thought, this place is near darling harbour, so I need to get to DH 1st. I was so wrong.

I knew I couldn't make it, but went there anyway, just for the sake of my own curiousity. I took bus from Town Hall (George St.) to near Market City (China town, that is) and walked to DH. It's not far from there. Then I found a map, tried to locate 4Points. It was on the other end of DH. on the other end.... bad luck..

I walked there, enjoyed myself actually. The lights were so pretty and the air was pleasant. Then I saw this bridge to Star City, climbed the stairs and get back at the end of Market St. See, at this point I can't stop myself from cursing and pitying on myself. So I turned right at the lights and found 4Points. I wandered around in the hotel for 5 mins and then left. I walked up King St. and suddenly I got to York St. You don't know how relieved I was to see it. It is near the north shore bus stop, which means I could go home (I thought I needed to find George St., turned out that it is further than York). I caught the freeway bus and got off at the junction, then took 202 all the way down to the terminus.

The walk was long, and it was tiresome but the view was great. And this was all on without dinner. I didn't have any dinner that night, though I had some snacks, but compared to my regular dinner, it doesn't mean anything. Luckily, I was fine, no stomach ache, no too-acidic stomach, no too-much gas.

Week 7

2005-09-11T12:11:00.000+10:00

I hate week 7, I'd probably be hating the next 7 weeks. It's still 7 weeks to go before the final. I'm feeling that I might be busy, but let's hope for the best.

Week 7, let's see:

calculus test, it's alright but am not quite sure that I will get full mark on that.
engineering mechanics (statics), I was fcuked up at the 1st question, really hoping that I will get the 2nd and the 3rd one correct.
material balance, won't get full mark for this, get the oxygen wrong.
pre-event volunteering, to which I couldn't come because of statics test.
got lost in Sydney while trying to go to the briefing session for volunteering. I went to the wrong Sheraton. Apparently, they have 2. One in Elizabeth St., which they call Sheraton on the Park, and the other one is near Darling Harbour, The Four Points Sheraton. More story on that.
Got some shitty personalities in me, no comment on that.
volunteering for Sydney Running Festival, started at 5:25 am and finished at 8:30. More stories on that, too bad I didn't bring my camera.
looking forward to week 8??? I'm waiting for the answer of my application. I applied for Yellowshirt, that are the bunch of people (students) helping run the orientation week at UNSW, and they're wearing yellow shirts.

tired.................

hectic

2005-09-05T21:43:00.000+10:00

...so damn tired...

I might not post anything until this Sunday.

New Orleans dan Tsunami

2005-09-04T19:33:00.000+10:00

Read about New Orleans (post-Katrina) here.

Cuma hati-hati aja, penyajiannya emosional. Ga dijamin bener semua juga.
You just can't trust what you see in the news, on the tv, in everywhere, but mostly on the internet.

To help, click here.

New Orleans

2005-09-03T10:22:00.000+10:00

Hiks.. baru abis baca koran, baca gimana hebatnya kerusakan yang dibikin sama angin topan Katrina (FYI: nama sepupu gw Katrina juga).
Judul artikelnya pas banget, America Fails Its Own.
Kenapa? Karena pertolongan datengnya lama banget, dan sedikit.
Trus jadi ada penjarahan, pemerkosaan, kehilangan dst.
Luka fisik bisa hilang, tapi gw ga kebayang yang jadi korban pemukulan, pemerkosaan dan segalanya. Luka jiwa susah banget hilangnya. Yang jadi korban itu wanita, orang tua dan anak-anak kecil. Mereka yang seharusnya ga merasakan itu. Terus terang gw jadi inget kerusuhan Mei 98 itu. Man.. How I really hate those 3 days, just before my birthday.
Gw benci saat gw musti takut sama manusia. Gw sedih banget..
Perasaan takut percaya sama yang namanya orang itu menyakitkan banget.

Emang bener banget, manusia itu serigala bagi sesamanya (kata filsuf, lupa namanya, ada di bk sosiologi).
Kalo lagi kaya gini, semua berebutan makanan, air bersih dst. Udah kaya di hutan aja, ga ada aturan lagi. Yang kuat, yang bertahan hidup. I loathe human, and I loathe being human in times like these. It makes me wanna cry..

I don't like violence, I don't like suffering, I don't like to see people suffer. Am I naive?

Moga-moga kalian di sana baik-baik aja, dan pertolongan cepet dateng, semua cepet kembali seperti semula. Amen.

In a relationship?

2005-09-03T09:32:00.000+10:00

Temen gw ada yang baru jadian!! Temen gw yg lumayan deket itu (some people probably know him, Andry) sama temen gw, anak Indo juga. Ga begitu sering ngobrol sih, jadi ya biasa aja.

Congratz!!

Lucu banget deh, ada yang nulis di bagian nickname MSN-nya, pake capslock pula: OLIN BARU JADIAN.. bla bla bla.. dia underestimate si olin ini. Karena anaknya emang kecil, imut gitu, suka dianggep anak bawang sama temen-temennya. Temen gw yg ini bilang lagi: kecil-kecil gitu.. jadi lucu banget, pada heboh banget.

Jadi.. jadi.. apakah aku akan ditraktir? Pajak Jadi neh..
Sejauh ini, yg berhasil gw tagih PJ nya itu cuma Tupi (dua-duanya loh!) sm si Ot. Yang lainnya, selain lupa, atau ga enak juga karena ga deket.

Jadian ya? Gw suka mikir, kenapa harus jadian sih? Maksud gw, kenapa harus ada 1 momen, 1 tanggal di mana harus ada legitimasi macem gitu? Jadian itu, menurut gw, itu cuma suatu legitimasi, pengesahan supaya bisa pegang tangannya, peluk dia, cium dia (sosor aja langsung!) dst.. Trus ada komitmennya.. ada banyak toleransi.. kadang muncul larangan.. Ga boleh ke sana sama si itu bla bla bla..

Gw ngerti sih kalo manusia itu butuh suatu pengakuan kalo dirinya diterima di lingkungan, diterima sama orang-orang yang dia sayangi dan hargai. Cuma pacaran itu kayanya jadi suatu embel-embel aja, banyak aturannya, pusing banget! Apa itu cuma orang Indo aja ya? Ya tentunya ga semua orang Indo kya gitu lah. Temen gw, yang jelas-jelas masih sayang sama eksnya, ga mau peduli sama dia, karena katanya pacar aja bukan. Aduh.. kenapa sih musti ribet banget kalo mau sayang sama orang? Pacar kan cuma status. Kalo sayang ya tunjukkin aja!
Kenapa jadi statusnya yang lebih penting dari perasaannya?

Suatu pengakuan itu gw rasa akan muncul dengan sendirinya, semakin dalem perasaan lo sama seseorang.

Mungkin karena budaya Timur yang semuanya serba tertutup, norma-normanya lebih ketat dan pandangan masyarakat itu bisa demikian kejamnya. Ga bisa disalahin juga sih.. klo ga, ntar dikatain murahan segala macem.. sigh.. susah.. susah..

Dasar bacot aja nih si mdh, pdhl jatuh cinta setengah mati pun belum pernah. Malah ngomong tentang cinta dan hubungan.

Mati

2005-09-02T19:39:00.000+10:00

Batas
antara hidup dan mati
ingin kulihat

Setengah surga, kalau ada
setengah neraka, untuk menyaingi surga

Mati itu bukan tentang surga
atau pula neraka,
Mati itu hanya pergi
dengan kesan yang lebih dalam.

Semakin dalam kesanmu,
semakin lama kau hidup.

Tak peduli kau bengis, jahat, pemerkosa, penjarah, koruptor, kepala preman, laki-laki hidung belang, dan semua jenis pekerjaan, namakan!
Setidaknya masuk koran.

Kau memilih
caramu untuk hidupi jiwamu
sekarang, maupun nanti.

Untuk Itu Kami Dilahirkan

2005-09-02T19:33:00.000+10:00

Matahari bersinar
keluarkan cahayanya,
untuk kau dan aku

Jika hujan menari
maka ia menari di atas kepala kau dan aku

Langit kita sama
Udara kita sama
Tanah kita sama
Namun kita tak pernah sama
tak akan jadi saudara.

Dendam di antara kami,
menoreh sejarah luka hati.

Perang, untuk itu kami dilahirkan.
Membenci mereka, agama kami.
Menang kalau bisa habisi.

Belasungkawa

2005-09-02T19:24:00.000+10:00

Sedih untuk mereka
kata orang mereka makmur
namun manusia hanyalah
manusia

Tangis mereka yang kelaparan
dingin dan kotor
tangan-tangan yang meminta
suara-suara yang memohon
Berusaha sekuat tenaga,
hanya untuk kita keluarkan sedikit rejeki.

Sedih untuk mereka
kalau bukan kasihan.

Silent Pulse

2005-09-01T23:13:00.000+10:00

Silent
Words can't say
what human try to speak
Millions of language
There they have it
useless, chaotic
arrogant and rude

They've missed it
There's no need
to see the pattern

world with no surrounding
covered with thick walls.

Silent

My room

2005-08-31T22:02:00.000+10:00

Yes! This is my room.

You can see that it's bloody messy, Yeah, I know, I make a really good mess. Why do people always think that boys' room are messier? Or a girl should be clean and organized. It's just so unfair that boys can be messy and girls can't.

You should know that this is in the middle of busy week, so I couldn't keep my things organized. I don't have that much time. I can, but I am just lazy. Keep throwing things, esp. clothes and here we are. Usually, it's not this messy, I promise you. It's just that day when I was looking for something and I've got everything all out. So it was, indeed, a big mess.

I even forgot to close my drawer. The white thing is my jumper. There's the chemistry text-book, my agenda, my lecture notes folder and my chemistry tutorial and lab sets in the big light green folder. Then, there are my used clothes. However, I've got everything cleaned up and all nice. Too bad I don't like my room when it is clean and tidy, so I didn't take a picture of it.

I don't know why I telling you all this. Friday is my mid-session test for chemistry already and here I am, blogging something that I wouldn't admit to everyone (especially boys, my mom would most likely know this).

I am so lame..

2005-08-31T21:58:00.000+10:00

Nothing in particular

2005-08-28T20:32:00.000+10:00

meh!!! really boredddddddddddd

oh people, my weblog/buttlog gods and goddesses, really please, update your bottomlog please.

I might just post something myself. Hmm.. got some pictures in my camera, probably I upload it later, dunno when. When the mood is right. I have loads of different mood for different situation.
Today, well today is the sunday, when I, nara charmyta myself, suppose to go to church. I went to the church for like 5 times (I reckoned) during my stay here, which is pretty long, almost 1 year. Hmm dunno, I don't like going out on sunday. The bus is only once in an hour, which was very much annoying. Ah, I think I was just don't want to go. I went to the city for shopping. Yes, I could go to the city by bus on sunday. For what? For shopping. Grocery shopping and bag shopping. Hey, can you keep this shut up between ourselves? Don't tell my mom, ok? ah.. being such a weirdo that I am..

I wasn't wasting my time today, nor am I now. I did some homeworks (no, we don't get homework here in uni, just some sets of maths, chem, physics, material balances, and engineering mechanics problems that need to be done/tried before the tutorials. However, the tutors will not ask you, have u done ur homework?! where is ur homework?! oh I've already said too much).
Then I went shopping, then went home.
After that, I played with my camera. Enjoying myself in the camera. Narcistics, that's what they call it. Yeah, sometimes.. then some homeworks again and this.

Sekilas minggu ini

2005-08-26T18:06:00.000+10:00

Huah.. It's been a long week for me. It's also been a rollercoaster ride for me. My mood is going uppppppp and dowwwwwnnnnn... uppppppppp and dowwwwwwnnnnn... it's not only tiring but also depressing. I don't think this is mostly caused by my period, well it is started this week. But it's not the main reason. It might make it worse though.. damn! hate this week..

I'm gonna have my mid-session test next week on Friday for chem and bloody Saturday morning the week after for fcukin physics damn! and people say that physics mid-session test is always on Saturday. damn!

So far, nothing special about chem eng. It's still the very basic knowledge for young engineer. God.. I don't think I want to be an engineer. These stuffs I study don't give me some kind of a pleasure. But I don't know what I want to do. I've been doing science stuffs for the past 2 years in year 3 and in Foundation. During these years, I kinda like some chem, some maths, not so much with physics, a lil bit in bio. Well I like doing bio experiments, I like cutting the animals' skin. I like to see the living organ inside them. Have you seen a heart beating? I have, and it's so very....... WOW!!! You can't make things like that move and functioning like that. It was just full of grace. I can feel at that moment, that a greater power than anyone in the world ever had was doing its job. It's just amazing how different one animal with another.

Anyway, we found out that male lizard has 2 penis, they call it hemi-penis. It was hidden and it doesn't look like a penis to me.. hehehe.. and one of my friend was trying to mate these poor lizards, with their opened-skin. She was trying to mate or copulate (the scientific word, I think) the male lizard with the female one, my other friend's lizard. They couldn't move, we put some a needle to make it unconscious. So she just moved them like they were her dolls. Poor little thing..

Nothing interesting happened this week. Still not going out on weekend too..

Well, have a good, nice, and decent weekend to you all, guys.

Rindu

2005-08-25T20:57:00.000+10:00

Aku merindukanmu,
menata namamu dengan kelu lidahku
melukis indah jiwamu dalam hatiku
merasakan tubuhmu jauh sampai ke tulangku
menyesap memoriku tentangmu

Kangen..
mengulang indah kenang-kenangan.
kata-kata manismu mengirisku,
dirimu adalah pintaku.

Kalau saja kau tahu.

Kalau saja kau mau, tak kan kulepaskan kau.

Kalau saja aku bisa, tak kan pergi aku dari sisimu.

Aku ingin pulang,
ke tanganmu rumahku.
Hangat di dalamnya,
terlindung aku dari dunia.

Pelukmu lelapkan penatku,
buang segala sesal dan asaku.
Buai aku dalam cintamu,
di dalamnya kan tenggelam aku.

Forever Sadness

2005-08-25T06:49:00.000+10:00

Lepaskan diri dari cintaku
Karena jatuh terbang dan melayang tinggi
Lepaskan diri dariku
Karena mata bersimbah kepedihan
Forever sadness, my dear

Lepaskan hati dari cintaku
Cintaku tak lagi tulus dan murni
Ia menuntut dan belenggu
Lepaskan hati dariku
Biar kosong
Walau tak'kan bahagia,
tidak tanpamu.

We are better off alone in our own path.

Aku ga gawul nih

2005-08-23T09:48:00.000+10:00

Eh ntar kalo ada yang ke pameran coklat akhir bulan ini di Semanggi Expo Hall B, gw mo nitip poto-poto coklatnya ya. Sama kalo ada yang inget, gw mau dark chocolate donk, tapi jangan banyak-banyak, satu aja. Ntar aye makin bulet dah, kalo kebanyakan.

Inget ya!!

Fotoin cokelatnya.

Salam cium buat mereka... hikssss gw sedih deh.. Trus katanya Buble mo ke situ ya? Apa sih Jakarta????? Ga sopan bgt, acaranya makin bagus-bagus!!!

Kok dia ga bilang-bilang gw ya? Ah lelaki.. (berasa mdh...)

Lontong Sayur dan Babi-babi Indo

2005-08-21T20:38:00.000+10:00

Pas hari Sabtu kemaren, anak-anak Indonesia yang belajar di Aussie, yang tergabung dalam PPIA (jangan tanya apa kpanjangannya, gw ga tau) ngadain Pesta Kampoeng di University of Sydney. Isinya kaya bazaar gitu, rata-rata jualan makanan-makanan Indo.
Kalo gw bilang sih kebanyakan rasanya biasa aja, trus harganya suka ga tanggung-tanggung. Jadi kadang males juga beli makanan Indo di sini. Tapi kemaren gw nemu lontong sayur + rendang sapi..... harganya A$ 7.50. Standard sih kalo buat makanan di sini. Enak bo... pedesnya pas lagi buat gw (brarti ga pedes). Udah lama gw ga makan santen. Udah lama ga makan lontong sayur.. Abis pas gw balik, ga lebaran sih. Si Mbak Sum masak ketupat sayur kalo pas lebaran doang. Dia masaknya banyak lagi, bisa buat makan 3-4 kali. Wuah.. pesta gw biasanya kalo lebaran. Duh kangen...

Ada contoh makanan Indo yang harganya bikin gw males makan. Tau nasi campur kenanga kan? Mayan terkenal di Jakarta. Waktu itu, tante kosannya Jessica beli itu 2 kotak, total A$40. Jd satunya A$20. babi banget... no offense buat babi-babi di luar sana, maupun penggemar pork, ataupun yang merasa babi dan/atau mirip babi, dan tentunya tidak lupa, bagi yang mengharamkan babi, peace man.. Jadi kalo ada yang jual nasi campur kenanga di sydney, terutama di eastern suburbs (= deket UNSW), babi banget deh lo!!! (kok gw dendam bgt sih? klo bokek emg suka bikin emosi cepet naek..)

Si PPIA itu juga jual pin-pin imut nan lucu dengan kata-katanya dan gambarnya yang catchy. Gw tadinya ngincer yang tulisannya "Masa-Masa SMA" trus bawahnya gambar lambang OSIS yang ada di saku-saku anak sekolah laen. Sanur kan ga ada kantong. Sayang ga gw poto. Harganya $1 per buah. Katanya buat dikirim ke Indonesia, mo disumbangin. Donesien gitu deh.. Kira-kira nyampe dengan selamat ga ya? Maksud gw, kan dana-dana sumbangan suka diselewengin sama pejabat-pejabat. BABI ga sih mereka????? BABI BANGET!!!!!

Trus band penutupnya bagus, namanya Checkers Say Hello atau sesuatu yg kya gitu. Vokalisnya ganteng, suaranya berat, tinggi, rambutnya berantakan lucu, jaketnya keren, kata si nathan berotot. Mereka bawain lagu-lagu funk gitu, asik banget dah, sayang ga ada gadis-gadis teman-temanku tukang joget. Bass nya mantebhhhhhhh abis lagi.. tapi tetep lebih gantengan vokalisnya, mas.. sori ya.

Eh ya udah deh, ntar omongin babi-babi lainnya di lain kesempatan, lain hari, lain waktu tapi di tempat yang sama.
Lagi-lagi, no offense untuk babi-babi di seluruh dunia, dan babi-babi lainnya.
Ciao!

Mood Test

2005-08-21T18:34:00.000+10:00

www.colorgenics.com said this about me:

You are a very emotional and sensitive individual. Your life and love of life is dominated by your emotions - you have great feeling towards your fellow man and you are always full of enthusiasm but be careful, you tend to let your heart rule your head and this being so, you could be easily hurt - as perhaps you may have indeed been hurt in the past.

You are very orderly, methodical and self sufficient. You demand and need the respect, recognition and understanding of all those who enter into your sphere on influence.

You are feeling under considerable pressure and you are being forced to make concessions. You are not particularly happy with this state of affairs but you feel that you have no alternative. If you were to force issues you would be left out or completely ignored by one and all.

For some time now your hopes and expectations have been denied and because of this you are becoming withdrawn and introverted. Continual disappointment has manifested itself in you becoming both suspicious and restrained you have become withdrawn from others and have receded more and more into yourself. You seem to have lost your innate enthusiasm and imaginative nature, for fear that you may be carried away by it only to find that you are wasting your time. You are loath to trust people, as in the past your trust has been misplaced. You seem to be keeping yourself cautiously aloof from others. At this moment in time your attitude is to trust nobody - until they can prove themselves to you.

Disappointment and the fear that there is no point in formulating fresh goals have led to anxiety and you are distressed by the lack of any close and understanding relationships. You feel you are not appreciated by those who matter to you. You are attempting to escape into a world on which you can relax and feel at ease.

P.S.: akhirnya gw bisa juga, setelah iseng-iseng nyoba pake IE swas. Tadinya gw pake Mozilla Firefox.

missing mommy..

2005-08-21T10:20:00.000+10:00

Lonely.. I'm so lonely, I have nobody for my own..

Untuk teman* yang selalu merasa atau hampir yakin kusayang

2005-08-20T10:51:00.000+10:00

Gw kangen:

jalan-jalan di mal sambil ngata-ngatain orang, berbuat konyol, ketawa bareng cuma kita yang tau
makan murah, minum murah
gosip-gosip ria
keliling butik di PS
nyobain baju-baju aneh di M***o
nongkrong di s*b*
disetirin
ayam kampung bakar
pembicaraan meaningless di telpon berjam-jam
pembicaraan meaningless di mobil
pembicaraan meaningless dari hati ke hati
dibeliin baju sama mami
resenya adek-adek gw
comelnya mereka
makanan enak
foto-foto bersama
berbagi minuman, makanan dan filsafah hidup
pelukan seorang teman

missing you, wherever you are, whatever you do

The Girl Who Snores

2005-08-20T09:48:00.000+10:00

This is Sasha, a new member of The Rachmat's Family.

She is a Golden Retriever and she likes to play.
She snores sometimes while she is sleeping, a very cute kind of snore that makes me think there must be something in her nose.

She is very friendly and mingles easily with strangers.

She is 6 (or probably 7 or 8) weeks old and she is adorably cuteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.....
look at those chubby legs...

Mental break-down

2005-08-18T07:31:00.000+10:00

I feel like I am lost in people's expectation.

You have to be a good girl.
You have to be slim.
You have to look beautiful, gorgeous, fabulous, astonishing, sophisticated, magnificent, excellent.. ... etc.. etc... etc...
You have to look fashionable.
You have to look as if you are experienced, and as if you are smart.
You have to have money.
You have to lick my butt, or else I won't notice you.
or else I don't like you.
or else you are not worthy enough to be my friend/a part of us.
Don't forget to get at least Credit for all your subjects, or Distinction.
First impression is important.
You have to be everything that people want you to be.

But I don't love that person.
I don't even like her.
I hate the person looking back at me.

It's just on my mind..

2005-08-15T20:11:00.000+10:00

Sir: You never do work at home.
Girl: Mind you, Sir. Yes, I have. Well, we do it differently back home, we wash using our hands. Now, please, if you can shut up while I'm washing your plates, it will be very nice.

Annoyed and Irritated

2005-08-14T16:55:00.000+10:00

Urgghh!! I hate waiting.. Well, I know no one told me to wait. I reckon it's just a glimpse of hope, so I wait. Hate it when I realize how stupid I am.

Oiya, masa ya, temen smp si Ot meninggal karena kanker ginjal. Umurnya masih 16 tahun. Ga masalah dia ganteng, ataupun blasteran tapi kesian bgt ya... Dia udah sakit 2 tahun. Namanya tidak untuk disebarluaskan. Gw berdoa buat dia dan keluarganya. Mudah-mudahan dia udah tenang, ga sakit lagi dan bisa bahagia, dan juga diterima di sisi-Nya. Mudah-mudahan keluarganya kuat dan tabah.

Beginian bikin lo mikir, nasib lo bukan cuma di tangan lo, tapi di tangan Yang Lebih Berkuasa.

Kalo gw di posisi dia gimana ya? Ga bisa ngebayangin gimana.
Will I stumble and fall? or will I grow stronger?
Life is all about making choice.
Jadi gw ga mau bete-bete mulu, mau kelarin bikin PR aja.

sebenernya topik pertama sm kedua ga nyambung ya? Tp gw sambung-sambungin aja..

I woke up this morning and didn't wear my pants

2005-08-13T08:49:00.000+10:00

How come? Man, I don't remember a single thing about taking off my pants. It's weird, never happened to me until this day.

HBL Week

2005-08-13T08:12:00.000+10:00

Yap! Sudah ditetapkan, seminggu yang lalu adalah HBL Week, tentunya bagi para single ladies.
HBL itu Haus Belaian Lelaki, atau kalau kata Joanna, Horny But Lonely. Sebenernya ga segitunya sih.. soalnya gw pengen punya pacar hanya dalam beberapa kondisi di bawah ini:

Cuaca di luar dingin dan berangin. Kayanya enak kalo ada yang bisa menghalangi angin-angin kurang ajar itu. Well, kalo ada yang meluk juga sih.. (huhuhu malu.. ini kok pembukaan aib besar-besaran ya?)
Bawa barang berat, tas berat, buku pinjeman dari library banyak dan berat.
Mau makan siang dan ga ada yang nemenin, I don't like eating alone.
Lagi bete, and there's no one to talk to.
Lagi sedih, idem no 4.
Lagi pengen marah dan ga ada yang bisa gw geplak.

Kalo lagi seneng atau biasa aja sih, gw lebih suka sendiri. Kondisi yang gw rasa paling kuat itu no 1 dan 2. Yang lainnya masih bisa gw atasin sendiri.
Most of the time, I'm enjoying myself here.. senengnya bisa jalan kemana-mana tanpa ada larangan, transport juga ada dan relatif aman, kecuali kalo lo itung bom.

Jadi apa yang bikin kalian HBL/HBW?

Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince

2005-08-12T19:30:00.000+10:00

Gw abis baca Harry Potter buku 6. Gila ya, bersambung kaya Conan (oia, Conan udah sampe nomer berapa sih? mo nitip nih.. abis si Ot ga beliin), tapi untungnya udah mau kelar. Eh kira-kira kapan ya buku 7-nya keluar?? Penasaran!!
Gw pinjem sama saudara sepupuku yang di sini, yang kutempati kamar tamu di rumahnya.

Buku 6 itu emang ga begitu banyak sih berantem-berantem serunya, ga seperti di 5 buku awalnya. Kekuatan dari buku ini, mnrt gw, adalah mulai ketauan kenyataan yang sebenarnya, trus ada sejarah awal si Lord Voldemort, analisis-analisis Dumbledore, misinya si Harry, trus ada yang meninggal (ih gw nangis yang bagian ini sampe seterusnya, dikit doang sih) dan tentunya romantika masa remaja yang indah di Hogwarts. Intinya gw cukup puas dengan buku ini.

Ya udah, gitu aja kok.

Sirik

2005-08-12T19:14:00.000+10:00

Beberapa hari yang lalu, kayanya banyaaakkkkk banget couple di jalan. Gw bingung aja..

Tapi tiba-tiba ngeliat cowo yang lucu gitu...(dan mayan fashionable) dipeluk sama cewe yang cantik gitu.... (cantik yang make-upnya bagus, tubuh ideal, tinggi ideal, fashionable, dan emang mukanya udah ok kyanya)
Lalu liat 1 lagi.. 1 lagi..
Lama-lama gw sirik!!!

Bikin perjalanan pulang gw buruk aja..

Gw ga tau juga, sirik sama si wanita ini yang cantik, atau sirik karena pacarnya lucu, atau sirik karena simply gw ga punya pacar aja. Kayanya gw sirik karena dia cantik dan pacarnya lucu. Mungkin emang kalo dari luar keliatannya perfect, dahsyat, dan seterusnya. Padahal mungkin aja pacarnya possesive, abusive, drugs user, drugs dealer, mafia, gangster, criminal, dan kawan-kawannya. Mungkin juga ini weice..... duh ga tega. Udah ah ngata-ngatain orangnya. It won't make me look better than her. Just live your life and love yourself sincerely.

Sirik bikin cape...

Hemat Pangkal Kaya

2005-08-07T09:48:00.000+10:00

Barusan gw abis masukkin sprei gw ke mesin cuci, tidak seperti ibu di sebelah kiri ini, yang mencuci pakai tangan. Gw bersyukur alhamdulillah banget dah, ada mesin yang namanya washing machine! Lumayan banget, walaupun tadi gw musti cuci 2 baju gw pake tangan juga, karena kalo pake mesin bisa rontok. Detergent itu bikin tangan kasar deh. Kasihan juga ya, pembantu-pembantu di rumah.. Karena ada pembantu, jadi ibu-ibu R.T. sekarang terbebas dari tugas mencuci dengan tangan. Karena ada mesin cuci, kita terbebas dari tugas mencuci dengan tangan. Bisa mampus gw kalo musti cuci seprei sendiri pake tangan. Besok kaga bisa nulis dah, tangan pegel semua. Kalo ga, paling cuma gw rendem. Huehehehe ga bakal bersih sampe kapan pun juga.

Masalahnya adalah di manakah aku akan menjemur cucianku? Dari kemaren, gw kerjanya "do the laundry". Semalem nyuci baju, pagi ini udah pada kering. Kaos kaki gw abis bo!! Ntar senen pake apa kalo ga ada kaos kaki. Trus tante gw nyuci handuk tadi pagi. Trus gw nyuci seprei, dan ntar mau nyuci celana-celana jeans. Aih.. kerja keras deh tuh mesin hari ini. Yang jadi bahan pemikiran juga adalah airnya. Ketinggian air di waduk Sydney itu kurang dari yang seharusnya. Airnya tinggal buat 3.5 tahun. Gila.. gw bakal 5.5 tahun belajar di sini, sisa 2 tahun gw mandi/cebok/minum pake apa ya? Musti cuci piring juga, cuci baju, buat masak, sirem taneman dll (Baca: planetark.com).

Setau gw, air di Jakarta juga defisit. Air laut udah merembes ke daratan, mencemari air tanah ga tau udah dari tahun berapa. Uh oh... what can we do?

Satu-satunya jalan yang bisa kita lakukan adalah mengurangi penggunaan air. Gw selalu peratiin orang-orang di toilet umum, keluarga gw, teman-teman gw dkk. Mereka rata-rata pakai air enak banget. Lagi sikat gigi, kerannya dibuka terus. Padahal airnya dipake juga ngga. Kalau cuci tangan, lagi pake sabun, karena habis makan ayam goreng (berminyak) jadi tentunya butuh agak lama biar bersih kan? Eh malah kerannya dibuka terus!! Liatnya bikin gemes! Gw bantuin matiin deh! Gw sendiri ya berusaha seminimal mungkin pakai air. Karena kita kan ga bisa menghasilkan air bersih, mau daur ulang air, bikin filter sendiri di rumah juga males kan.. Jadi ya hemat air aja(baca: mandi seperlunya hemat sabun & shampoo jg hehehehe, cuci muka 3x sehari, gosgig 2x sehari, minum air yang banyak, jangan lupa cebok kalo abis weewee atau poop, flush pake yang setengah kalo weewee, full kalo abis poop, mengurangi penggunaan air yang tidak dibutuhkan).

Hemat air, hemat biaya.. (jingle iklan hemat energi sebetulnya)

P.S.: berlaku juga untuk listrik, baju, makanan, bensin dan lainnya.

I would be unstoppable, if only I could get started

2005-08-03T21:11:00.000+10:00

Wadow... aku cape banget neh.. hari ini sih ga penuh banget. Senen tuh penuh, dari jem 9 pagi - 6 sore. Hari ini ga beda jauh sih, dari jem 10 - 6.
Gw ini procrastinator sejati. Liat aja, sekarang malah update blog.. padahal masih ada 1, 2, 3... 6 soal dari mata kuliah Engineering Mechanics. Dari namanya aja udah nasty gituh.. sigh..

Gila, iri sama si puppy ini. Eh liat deh, dia cowo... XP hehehehehe...
kok bisa ya anjing tidur lurus gitu? gw ga pernah liat anjing gw tidur kya gitu.

Ah ga penting!

How Weird Is Ryana?

2005-07-31T12:32:00.000+10:00

You Are 50% Weird

Normal enough to know that you're weird...
But too damn weird to do anything about it!

How Weird Are You?

Blanky-nya mdh

2005-07-29T20:19:00.000+10:00

Salah satu karakter gw, yang menurut temen-temen gw ciri khas gw, itu adalah gw minim ekspresi. Gw punya sih, beberapa ekspresi.. Iya!! Be be ra pa..

Contohnya gw bisa ketawa ngakak kalo ada yang lucu, nangis kalo ada yang bikin gw marah atau sedih, nyolot kalo lagi bete, kaget kalo ada yang mengagetkan.. kt andam, yah madh, segitu doang kagetnya?.. pas dia bw buket bunga gede pas ultah gw ke16. Gw bener kaget loh waktu itu! Tapi gw ga bisa tuh, pake ekspresi kalo lagi cerita. Jadinya cerita gw expressionless (klo ada bhs inggrisnya), seperti ga bernyawa (menurut gw). Waktu misanya 3IPA2 sama 3IPS2, katanya Ade gw paniknya ga berekpresi, suaranya doang yang panik (mayan lah..), trus berantemnya apalagi... ga pas ekspresinya, jadinya konyol. Jadi kangen...

Sebagai salah satu orang yang sangat menikmati live story-telling, gw sadar banget kalo ekspresi sewaktu bercerita itu penting. Makanya gw seneng dengerin, dan kalo bisa ngeliat langsung. Gw seneng tuh liatin Bertha Aprinia Naenggolan, Rhumondang Puji Sitorus, Putri Andamdewi Mahjuddin, Swasti Adicita, Adinda Tisalita Permata, Margaret Adelina Haryono, Regina Jessica Widjanarko, Victoria Petra Kristiner Susilo (gila, gw bnr2 ga ada kerjaan, smua org gw kasi link!!) cerita. Gw yakin masih banyak lagi temen gw yg ekspresif kalo cerita, contohnya Joanna Wulan Loing dan masih banyak lainnya yang tidak bisa kusebutkan satu per satu (bisa abis waktuku buat ngelink smuanya!!).

Trus selain dari mimik muka, ekspresi juga bisa terlihat dari suara. Sampe-sampe ada yang bilang, tersenyumlah ketika mengangkat telepon, orang di seberang sana akan tau kalo kamu lagi tersenyum. Wah.. gw udah ga teritung lagi dibilang galak kalo lagi ngangkat telpon, atau cuma lagi nyari orang di telpon. Biasanya emaknya si anu bilang, temen kamu galak banget! Kaya ABRI! Uhuhuhuhuhu.. ampun Tante.. ga sengaja... Waktu itu gw sampe ga enak banget sama temen gw, dan emaknya tentunya, karena dibilanginnya berkali-kali!! Merasa bersalah aja.. Padahal sih khawatir imej gw jelek.. Hehehehehehe..
Jadi gw kurang bisa berekspresi dalam mimik muka dan intonasi suara. Beberapa orang oz juga pernah mengalami kesulitan mengerti apa yang gw katakan, simply because my intonation doesn't exactly the same, or there's hardly intonation, I believe..

Gw bukannya ga berusaha loh!!! Jangan salah.. don't be wrong...
Dari kelas 1 SMU, gw udah disuruh belajar sama Puji. Bisa dibilang usaha gagal. Kelas 2 masih meneruskan pembelajaran sama Pa. Kelas 3 diajar betul-betul oleh Mechtildis Clara Cerisnanda.
Lalu, pas UFY, kalo kata Jessica Chandra, lo sih berekspresi, cuma tiba-tiba ga berekspresi, bikin gw jd bingung. Sekarang, di UNSW... kayanya medium yang ada memungkinkan gw untuk tidak berekspresi sama sekali, since I know nobody. It will get better though, I really hope so.

Pertanyaan umum buat gw:

Udah punya pacar blm?
Udah berekspresi blm, mdh?
Pa kabar?

Kalo diteliti dari sebelum jaman SMU (kalo lo belum bosen, baca aja lagi), jaman SMP.. seinget gw, gw ga pernah dibilang ga berekspresi. Dibilangnya jail. Gw ini anak paling jail, 1 angkatan 2001 (bnr ga sih, 2001?), diresmikan oleh Sr. Alexandrine (kepsek waktu itu). Sumpah.. ada pitanya yg dikalungin ke badan kaya Miss Universe, tp ga dpt crown, trus dpt hadiah. Sial.. malu bgt!! Kalo angkatan-angkatan adek kls gw ga ngadain award-award begituan, jadilah gw anak paling jail sepanjang masa SLTP Santa Ursula. Cuma sekedar intermezzo, gw anak paling cupu dan paling konyol (bener ga cer? gw lupa) di 3A2.

Trus pas SD di Sanmar..... Hmm not much to say. Gw tulisannya jelek, sampe perlu ikut bimbel pelajaran menulis indah, sayangnya ga berhasil. Ikut itu dari kelas 1-2. Kelas 2 rada rajin, berhasil sampe rangking 14, aja. Gw tau beberapa temen gw yang cemerlang dan aduhai betapa pintarnya sewaktu di SD. Mayan banget deh... rangking 14 buat gw. Trus surga juga pas kelas 2, belum gemuk, belum terkena imbas Mc.D. Maennya kejar-kejaran sama anak cowo, sambil bawa penggaris panjang buat sambit-sambitan. Agak beringas, memang! Trus kelas 3 rada suram, udah mulai membesar. Ikut pramuka sampe kelas 4. Kelas 4 gendut. Kelas 5 gendut, Nat lahir. Kelas 6, datanglah tamu istimewa, punya temen yg cukup dekat, panggilannya kudel, namanya Delfina Chandra, sekelas sama Vinka Armelia, tapi dia ga inget. Mulai bisa membedakan lelaki keren dan lelaki menyebalkan nan brengsek yang kerjanya cuma minta contekan. Tambah tinggi banyak karena puber, tapi ga kurang lebarnya. Jerawat sialan.
Ya segitu saja nostalgia masa SD.

Pas TK, gw sering dibully!!! Ah kesian mdh.. Gw ini pendiam waktu kecil. Gw yakin pasti gw ga ada ekspresi kalo lagi diem. Oia, gw juara gigi sehat loh!!! hahahahhahaha satu-satunya piala yang gw dapet, cuma pas TK. JUARA 1 GIGI SEHAT. huehehehehehe.. gigi susuku kan bagus. rapi, putih, manis.

Gw masuk Regency Playgroup. Gw ga inget apa-apa pas masa ini. TK aja udah payah.. Cuma inget jatoh, pas abis istirahat.
Gw nyadar 1 hal, nyokap gw selalu taunya gw ini anak malaikat. Gw baik, nurut, walau ga banyak omong. Nyokap gw kerja sih.. Padahal aslinya gw anak setan, kalo ngedengerin cerita pembantu gw yg udah kerja sama nyokap gw 17 thn (pas Ot lahir). Gw kan ga inget apa-apa, semuanya, termasuk semua kejahatan gw terhadap adik gw, pembantu gw, suster gw, dan orang-orang tidak bersalah lainnya. Gw ini jail, dan gw menutupinya dengan sempurna di depan nyokap gw. Gw pernah ngeberentiin guru les mandarin gw, gw bilang sama dia, kita semua mau liburan. Setengah boong, setengah bener. Ketauan sih kalo yg ini. (gila, panjang juga ya postnya) Pengen tau, sapa aja yang masih baca sampe sini... (ah mdh, kya ada yg baca aja..)

Jadi, intinya, gw dikenal sebagai anak jail, most time of my life. Tiba-tiba 3 thn gw dicap ga berekspresi, dan ini kayanya, kemungkinan besar, bakal kebawa seumur hidup gw.
Hmm postingan kli ini agak pointless.

Another thought

2005-07-23T16:03:00.000+10:00

When I was 15 or 16, we got a cute puppy. It's black with some brown spots in random places and he has brown hair (fur?) on his stomach. I was on school holiday, just woke up at half past 7, had brekky then I took him for a walk. Well, I haven't got any chain or belt. So we went out at 8. After a while, it got really busy, people going off to work. I was thinking of going back home, after all it was really hot. Then this car came, quite fast. My little puppy didn't notice or know the sound. I was trying to grab him but I couldn't move and the car stopped right in front of my cheek. At that time, I didn't realize what would happen if the car didn't manage to stop. I was just taking my puppy, crossing the road, giving the driver a little smile (I didn't angry at all, I was happy my puppy was saved), went inside the house and said nothing about this to anyone.

I haven't thought about it until I was 18. The more I think about it, the more I realize.. I'm crazy.

Moral of the story:
don't put your face in front of moving car, it may not stop.
think fast, act fast.

Pengakuan

2005-07-23T09:10:00.000+10:00

Gw mo ngaku, kadang-kadang, dalam beberapa situasi dan kondisi, gw jd mello bgt dan akhirnya jadi cengeng, nangis. Contohnya kaya pas baca novel A Walk To Remember itu. Gw inget ada beberapa novel jg yg bs bikin gw nangis, agak banyak kyanya. Dulu aja pas baca Sutan Takdir Alisjahbana (klo di catetan BI gw, STA), yg judulnya Tak Putus Dirundung Malang, gw nangis gitu, trus abis kelar baca masih ngerasa sedih banget.... Trus novel-novel chicklit.. Pokoknya ga penting deh. Terakhir baca Beauty Case, chicklitnya Indonesia. Tapi emang paling heboh pas AWTR. Tapi pas baca biografinya Dave Pelzer yg A Child Called It, gw ga nangis. Sejauh yang gw denger, orang-orang yang baca itu pada nangis.

Nonton film bioskop juga bs bikin gw nangis. Gw inget banget, gw nangis kejer pas nonton Brother Bear. Nontonnya sama adek-adek gw lagi.. malu-maluin aja. Pas keluar bioskop si Nat udah ngeliatin aja, tapi ga berani nanya. Trus Mengejar Matahari. Itu juga nangis, dikit. Gw ga inget gw nangis apa ga pas nonton I am Sam. Kayanya gw nangis, walau ga seheboh yang gw pikir tapi sodara sepupu gw yg disini, Lydia, nangis sepanjang filmnya. Nonton Lilo & Stitch aja, gw nangis, dikit. Mayan banyak juga sih film bioskop yg bisa bikin gw terharu.

Trus kalo liat atau baca tentang pengalaman-pengalaman hidup orang yang struggle bgt, trus malang banget, pokoknya kesian bgt dianya, pasti gw nangis. Pernah baca e-mail, forward-an cerita gitu, lupa tentang apa, sampe nangis gw.
Waktu itu gw ke panti asuhan, trus rasanya udah pengen nangis aja. Kalo lagi kesel banget, nangis. Kalo lg sedih, nangis. (Itu mah jelas ya??)

Trus pas gw pergi, gw nangis kejer. Pdhl yg laen, yg nganter ga nangis.
kok gw ga penting bgt ya?

Aku sakit lagi..

2005-07-16T12:39:00.000+10:00

untuk yang ketiga kalinya di bulan ini!!!

huhuhuuuuuuuuuu bete neh

Cry Baby

2005-07-14T20:24:00.000+10:00

I hadn't been a cry baby as far I remember, only for some bad occasions. Well, I was a cry baby, just now. I've just finished reading Nicholas Sparks book, A Walk To Remember. It's like I cried half way through the book. And it's even becoming worse and worse till the end. I don't know why I got all this mellow just for a character in a romantic novel. Can you imagine, there is a small mountain of wet tissues in my rubbish bin? And I cried hard too, till I got headache. It's like smashing my head.. Uh.. I hate this. Now my eyes are swollen and red, with my chubby red cheeks, as always.

I have some friends who are a cry baby, and they admit it. It's just funny in one way, not a very big deal though...
Has anyone ever read that book? or probably watched the movie?

Gw lg mikir aja..

2005-07-12T08:16:00.000+10:00

Kalo gw mati dalam waktu dekat ini, gw mo bikin surat wasiat. Yah walaupun sedikit, gw jg punya bbrp barang.

Laptop gw, harta gw dr bonyok utk saat ini yg plg berjasa buat gw, dan kmgknan bsr yg plg mahal, gw bakal balikin ke bokap, Pi, jangan liat2 isinya ya. balikin ke factory setting dulu, trus abis itu sapa pun blh pake, mo dijual lg jg blh, krn laptop ini rada dodol, kurang lengkap dan suka bikin org bete! oia, foto2 yg ada di memori laptopku jgn didelete, smuanya!! yg di folder my picture sm camera dan dimana pun kalian menemukan poto. ok?
HPku tolong dicharge setiap malem, trus foto-fotonya jgn di delete. sapa pun blh pake, tp fotonya jgn didelete. (buat paan ya?)
Tolong pindahin foto2 digital dr laptop sm HP ke 1 folder di komputer apa pun. abis itu, hpnya blh dijual, laptopnya jg.
Ipod mini ku buat ot n nat.
Kamera buat sapa pun yg mo pake.
gitarku buat ot atw nat atw sapa pun sbnrnya.
trus baju2 gw, yg gembel maupun yg tidak, yg kaos maupun yg bkn kaos. Buat mamiku dan adik2ku tercinta, ambil yg bgs dan lo suka aja (yg pasti kegedean smua). Sumbangin aje klo ga.
Celana panjang gw yg terbatas, ga ada sampe 10. yg muat, ambil aja. oiya, celana OR sanur buat ot aja.
Bra Pierre Cardin. duh ini mo diapain ya? bagus ni, ga ada yg bs pake jg. lagian ms kasi org beha bekas? klo mati pake beha ga? hmm terserah yg urusin aja deh.
undies.... alias kolor.. ini mah buang aja lah.
jaket. silahkan ambil bagi yang mau.
sepatu dan sendal2ku yg cuma dikit. idem jaket.
duit ortuku yg di rekeningku maupun yg di dompetku, balikin ke bokap. jgn disia2kan ya Pi..
Buku Furry Logic, buat Andam
Jangan buang foto-foto koleksiku, yg di album.
Dompet2ku.. ada yg udah robek, tp msh bs dipake sih. yah sapapun yg mo pake blh...
Buku yang ada gajahnya buat Adinda. sm ada 1 tempat transparan pake zipper warna kuning buat file, itu jg buat Adinda.
Tas2.. ini smua msh bs dipake.
hmm organ2ku disumbangin aja. sisanya dibakar aja.

Apapun yg terjadi, aku sayang kalian!

Mengeluh.. sigh!

2005-07-09T11:43:00.000+10:00

Gw musti ngurus visa neh.. tp mulainya kok susah bgt ya?

Kenapa sih langit cepet bgt gelap? Rasanya jd mello. Mendung mulu lg..

Matahari terbitnya baru jem 7 pagi... Bikin males bgn dr tempat tidur.

Huhuhuhu aku ditinggal sendirian di rumah..

Males banget pulang malem, dingin, sendirian, menggigil, takut keujanan lg...

Arrghhhhh!!! I want summer!!!

London di BOM!!!

2005-07-08T22:24:00.000+10:00

Ini mah smua orang jg udah tau ya? London dibom kmrn malem, waktu syd. Beritanya sih kemaren malem, pas gw lg maen-maen di dunia maya.. kangen sm high-speed connection.
Trus gw baca di koran, liat di berita malem jg, klo Sydney itu jg terancam. Gw ga tau knapa org2 itu mikir gt, mungkin GR aja, mungkin sadar diri, mungkin realistis, mungkin terlalu mengada-ada.

But it could happen anywhere, anytime, to anyone..
Ah.. sialnya lagi.. sasarannya ya kita-kita ini, civilians. Lebih spesifik, COMMUTERS! like me!
Kalau di London aja bisa kena, kenapa di Sydney ga bisa?

Payah bgt sih.. No safe place on Earth.
Dan resenya lg, gw jd ketakutan sendiri. Ini umum ga sih? Maksud gw, wajar ga sih? Gw takut kena bom, gw takut mati. Ga sampe takut bgt sih, tp seinget gw, dulu pas msh lbh kcl, waktu msh blm ada tuj hdp yg agak jelas, gw ga takut mati. Pasrah kali ya lbh tepatnya. Kenapa gw takut mati? Duh.. duh.. Tuhan tau gw blm ngapa-ngapain.. yah setidaknya bikin orang lain bahagia deh.. menyebar kebaikan.. apa kek.. ga usah yang muluk-muluk bgt.. walau gw pengen kelarin kuliah gw, walau UNSW itu mahal setengah mati (btw gw mo transfer ke uni lain yg ga sebrengsek mereka, tp ttp bgs jg, kpn kek.. blm tau kpn.. msh mikir2 dl.).

Gw mau hidup gw berarti buat diri gw sendiri, belum ada yg bisa gw banggain selain cinta dr keluarga dan temen-temen gw. Gw pengen hidup gw berarti buat orang lain, orang-orang yang gw sayang, gw pengen mereka bangga sama gw. Gw pengen menjadi berarti buat mereka. Bukan cuma mamadh yang mikirin perut doang (yah maklum deh.. i cant stand good food, pasti abis deh.. lagian saya kan maag..), bukan cuma mamadh yg egois, maunya menang sendiri.

Tuhan, makasi ya buat hidupku selama ini. klo aku hrs pergi, aku rela kok. tp mgkn org2 ga rela.. (hehehehehehe ;)

Nothing, really!

2005-07-07T20:18:00.000+10:00

Lupa bilang..
Saya udah di Sydney lagi!

Curhat online

2005-07-07T19:49:00.000+10:00

Berharap itu sungguh sulit, karena hati akan melambung dan kesadaran perlahan hilang, namun ada satu teriakan kecil yang lebih sering tak terdengar atau sengaja diabaikan, sel-sel kelabu yang tahu, hati ini akan jatuh, mungkin terlalu keras dan mungkin terlalu dalam.

Percaya itu lebih sulit lagi, hatimu sudah kau berikan. Kadang mungkin kau dikecewakan, kau sakit hati dan marah, susah tidur, susah makan, susah buang air besar, kepikiran melulu.. ga enak! Namun, life goes on.

Cinta, bagaimana kalau kau sudah jatuh cinta? Lalu kau berharap dan percaya, dan memberi. Jadi susah banget. Kalau kata Elton John, "But I want love, just a different kind. I want love, won’t break me down, won’t brick me up, won’t fence me in. I want a love, that don’t mean a thing. That’s the love I want, I want love" (I Want Love - Elton John)

I'm not really sure where I go, just like anybody else. I don't know what kind of love that I want, since all kinds of love is hurting in one way or another. People come and go, maybe you are one of them that went away. I don't know. I can't give you the world, my world to be specific, I even can't give you my words. Things change, people change. All I know, I don't want you to go and leave me alone here. Please stay.

Feel better? Certainly nope.

Selama hidupku yang berumur 19 thn ini..

2005-06-20T11:10:00.000+10:00

Sayah teh masih binun....

BAGAIMANA CARANYA MEMAKAI PULASAN KUKU DI TANGAN KANAN???

Liburan Bersama

2005-06-18T10:15:00.000+10:00

Teman-teman, kawan dan sejawat sekalian,

saya ingin menyampaikan kalau rencana liburan bersama ke Puncak atau Anyer tidak akan dilaksanakan, dengan alasan sebagai berikut:

Tidak ada tanggal kepergian yang dapat diikuti semua orang. Dengan kata lain, satu-dua orang atau lebih tidak dapat ikut, tentunya diiringi rasa kecewa dari saya pribadi.
Jumlah kawan yang dapat ikut menjadi sedikit dan ini berpengaruh besar pada biaya akomodasi yang menjadi terlalu mahal di Anyer.
Alasan biaya akomodasi yang mahal di Anyer, selain minimnya jumlah kawan yang bergabung, adalah karena waktu yang memungkinkan banyak kawan untuk ikut adalah akhir pekan, dan itu memang mahal. Sedangkan untuk hari kerja, adalah tidak mungkin karena terbentur dengan jadual Semester Pendek dan kesibukan yang tidak bisa ditunda masing-masing pihak.

Oleh karena itu, saya meminta maaf, karena mengecewakan kalian semua.

terus terang, kalian kok sibuk bgt sih? gw jd kesel. Sumpah deh, KESEL!!!!!

Bosan!

2005-06-17T00:33:00.000+10:00

Liburan = makan banyak, minim olahraga, jalan-jalan tiap hari.

kemana nih orang-orang?? uh sibuknya mereka!

Sinetron

2005-06-10T22:33:00.000+10:00

Ah! Cukup menyenangkan menonton sinetron bersama adik. Sebetulnya sih cukup memalukan. soalnya gw tadi heboh banget soalnya karakter baiknya dijahatin gitu. Gw sampe2 loncat2, trus keinjek kaki adek gw. nontonnya di dapur pula, lagi makan malem. untungnya emak udah makan duluan, jadi ga dimarahin deh, kejar2an, loncat2 (awas kena usus buntu loh, mdh!). trus nontonnya rame2 sama mbak2 di rumah ini. yah tadi seru banget.

Nah, sinetron tadi tuh judulnya leontin. trus yg maen kakak beradik gitu. lalu kubilang pada adikku, Ot, kita maen filem yuk!
ehehehehhe mayan kan..

ntar bikin story board trus tinggal minjem handycam! siplah.

this far..

2005-06-08T20:24:00.000+10:00

aih aih... tak disangka, sudah 1 minggu lebih berada di tanah air.

so far so good, jalan-jalan... shopping... makan-makan enak... dikatain gendut.... trus sakit maag kronis... barusan potong rambut dengan harga irasional.... huh.....

tapi senang kok!

so good to be home

Harapan

2005-05-28T19:25:00.000+10:00

untuk: teman-teman tersayang.
harap jangan ada yang terlalu percaya diri.
tapi yakinlah pada dirimu jika kau tahu siapa dirimu.

Saya harap, saya bisa bersua denganmu.
walau hanya sekali,
untuk seumur hidup.
karena tanpa kau dan saya sadari,
kita hilang dari hidup masing-masing.
pelan, namun pasti.
dan berlarilah kenangan-kenangan.
mungkin hancur,
mungkin busuk.

kita selalu dapat mengulang kenangan2 itu, walau tak akan sama.

lalu kapan?

KARENA...... aku pulang!!!

The 12 me

2005-05-26T21:26:00.000+10:00

huaaaa aku ukuran 12 (=LARGE)

huksss...

ndutttttttttttt

mo diet.

supaya turun ke 10 (=medium)

huhuhuhu....

asikkkk bsk graduation, kita poto2, trus belanja2, trus party............. yippeeeee

senengnya.

trus minggu pulanggggggg

Maths Exam

2005-05-25T19:51:00.000+10:00

hueeeeeeeeee susahhhhhh bgt.... apalagi 3 nomer terakhir... paan sihhh nyebelin bgt yg bikin soal, knp lat soalnya ga ada yg sesusah itu??? dsr nyemot.

hiks

bsk fisika..
gw kira hellnya gonna start tomorrow.
taunya mlh earlier than I thought....

Now...

2005-05-25T10:02:00.000+10:00

hmm I'm having my maths exam in less than 6 hours (5 hrs and 54 minutes to go). I think I've finished my revision, but I'm not sure that I should continue revising or not. I really think it should be enough for me, cos I'm sick of it. The more I do the exercise, the more I realized, hey, I haven't cover everything I need to know!!!

So, here I am, in front of the computer, feel in need to be relax.

Calm down, man. Everything's gonna be alright. and the hell is gonna start tomorrow, in physics exam, for 2 and a half hour, and sore right arms, and headache. YOU can handle this.. this is just another exam, just with so much more stuffs, more than the Indonesian national exams. yaikss

So fellows, what do you do before your exams? or what do you do before a very important moments in your life, such as your marriage, job interviews, etc..?

If I failed, .......... let's not day-dreaming.
I can not accept failure, for I am not gonna fail.
Let's go.
(Doakan aku ibu!!!!!)

I am one lucky girl

2005-05-24T19:50:00.000+10:00

I just realized, I'm one lucky girl.
I have:

my family
my friends

I am nothing without you, guys.

and, I am healthy, with complete body function, and I can go to the university, here.. and I have my own potentials to rock the world!!

cause I'm bigger than my body (J. Mayer)

Swasti dan Bobo

2005-05-22T19:08:00.000+10:00

poem on demand
Swasti.. swasti..
teman bermain
walau bukan belajar
tidak seperti Bobo
kelinci biru berbuntut lucu berbaju merah seperti superman berjambul seperti lupus dan bertelinga panjang namun tak sepanjang belalai bona.
ia kelinci sopan, karena pakai celana.

Swasti.. swasti..
alumnus sekolah-sekolah terkenal
namun patut dipertanyakan
terkenalkah ia?
karena siapa yang tidak tahu Bobo?

Swasti.. swasti..
mencari jawaban
mencari cinta
jangan gelisah,
mungkin hanya di balik punggungmu
apa yang kau cari.
walau Bobo mungkin tidak dapat menjawab.

Swasti.. swasti..
apakah ini cukup untuk memuaskan keinginanmu?

Jika manusia bisa mengontrol perasaannya

2005-05-21T14:53:00.000+10:00

Kalau aku bisa mengontrol perasaanku,
aku bisa melupakanmu.
tak perlu memikirkanmu,
penuhi ruang oksigenku.
sesak napasku.

Kalau aku bisa mengubah perasaanku,
mungkin aku tidak akan kesal begini.
tidak akan benci kamu.
tidak pernah benci kamu juga.

Kalau aku bisa mengontrol hatiku,
tidak perlu penantian demikian rupa ini.
Janjimu tak akan berarti.
hanya basa-basi.
hidup akan terus berjalan,
tanpa hatiku yang pincang.

Kalau aku betul bisa,
aku tidak akan terbang
hanya karena kamu.
aku tidak akan jatuh
karena kamu.

masalahnya, aku ga mau.

What to make my day

2005-05-21T09:43:00.000+10:00

Things to make my day complete:

Have lunch in Pondok Buyung, Padang restaurant. (nice rendang) ^^
Then poop in the next morning.

Pitying myself

2005-05-20T22:15:00.000+10:00

Here's a song for you guys.

Love Song for No One, by John Mayer

staying home alone on a Friday
flat on the floor looking back
on old love
or lack thereof

after all the crushes have faded
and all my wishful thinking was wrong
I'm jaded
I hate it

I'm tired of being alone
so hurry up and get here
so tired of being alone
so hurry up and get here

searching all my days to find you
not sure what I'm looking for
I'll know where
when I see you

until then I'll hide in my bedroom
just staying up all night just to write
a love song
for no one

I'm tired of being alone
so hurry up and get here
so tired of being alone
so hurry up and get here

I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
could I have missed my chance and watched you walk away

I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
could I have missed my chance and watched you walk away

I'm tired of being alone
so hurry up and get here
so tired of being alone
so hurry up and get here

you'll be so good
you'll be so good for me
I know you'll be so good
for me
for me

hmmm... this song sounds just like me. am doing nothing on a friday night and so tired of being alone, and also, lacking of old love. poor me..

My exams today, I had 2, went so-so. I didn't study that much for comp studies and english were pretty hard!! omigod.. I really don't know what to expect for these 2 subjects. I didnt finish my practical exam, cos i was late! there was an accident on the street and the police closed the road so the bus couldnt pass, so i didnt get a bus!! however, dont really care that much!

cheers love! have a nice weekend, guys! here's some oz, g'day mate!!

Me! me! me!

2005-05-19T20:30:00.000+10:00

Oh what a slacker.. I have 2 exams tomorrow and what did I do? I watched sex and the city. kinda like the show... however, it's the re-run, cos they'v finished it.

hmm.. miss my friends!

Main main main main... ga mo exam!!

2005-05-18T10:10:00.000+10:00

Akhir-akhir ini, kami, diriku dan teman-temanku di sini, suka melakukan hal yang suka dilakukan oleh orang-orang tua. tau ngapain? nostalgia.

Nostalgia jaman SD atw TK gitu. plg demen bahas Golden Truly (that's a whole 'nother story). trus waktu itu lanjut bahas permainan waktu kecil, mulai dr galaksin, tak jongkok, maen karet sampe green spot. ternyata yg maen green spot itu anak cowo doang, gw jd dikatain kya cowo deh. pdhl pas SD, maennya sm sesama kaum hawa.

Pantes gw ngerasa tua bgt. wong klo ngobrol, jdnya nostalgia waktu kecil sih, saat kita masih lugu dan dunia masih terlihat indah.

huaduhhhhh mo exam gini kok mlh ngepost tambah rajin?? tp gw udah bljr sih, lagian ntar gampang (moga2 aja, ameen!!!)

pertanyaannya adalah: permainan masa kecil apa yg paling kalian suka?